53 Thoughts I Had Watching the Great British Bake Off - Series 9 Episode 7

It's time for the week of Bake Off that's apparently 'controversial' but really shouldn't be 'controversial'... vegan week!

1. Noel is dressed up as watching someone dressed up as a cow dance about. Excellent content already.
2. What absolutely FIRE outfits this week!!!
3. Tartlets for challenge uno. Half one flavour, half another - both with vegan-friendly shortcrust pastry. All that in two hours!
4. There's some vegan margarine, coconut oil and other bits and bobs flying around.
5. Mmmmmmm falafel & hummus tartlets for John! Fantastic!
   
6. Briony's popped open the bubbly. Hellooooo.
7. Ruby's sharing the love nutritional yeast. Meanwhile, Kim-Joy's getting the ol' tofu out.
8. Baking beans in the tins & we're blitzing the tartlet bases... edges?! Crusts, that's it. The crusts are being blitzed.
9. John's current shirt is my favourite of his yet - dark blue and covered in bright yellow lemons.
   
10. Caramelised onions hellooooo. And Manon's making mushroom & bechamel tarts, delicious. This all sounds great, I hope they turn out okay...
11. On go the vegetables, yoghurt (for Rahul), various herbs and spices. Ruby's got a blowtorch out to burn her tomatoes for some reason.
12. And finitoOooOooooo!
13. I feel like this is a week of learning for everyone involved.
14. Paul is a fan of Manon's coconut pastry. Prue reckons the ratatouille ones had some tough pastry, but overall good.
15. Despite Ruby wanting "punchy" tartlets, the judges weren't impressed with the lack of flavour. Nooooo.
16. Over with Rahul, his tartlets are POETRY (says Prue). What a compliment.
    
17. John, on the other hand, is better off sticking to... well... not vegan tartlets.
18. Kim-Joy now - Paul has found a new love: coconut pastry. The judges are impressed, and Kim-Joy's got a handshake! How cool.
19. Challenge dos: vegan pavlova. Mmmmm. Is this even doable? I hope so. Just in case I ever go vegan for some reason. Pavlova is the queen/Frida Kahlo of desserts.
20. The bakers' two discs of meringue have been crafted and bobbed into the oven for an unspecified amount of time.
21. Kim-Joy - if you follow what everyone else does and everyone follows what you do, YOU'RE ALL SCREWED.
22. Time to flip them meringues... iiiiinteresting. Kim-Joy's in particular.
23. Varied results on this bake. Prue's appreciating Briony's effort to make a meringue tower.
24. Second place for this challenge is Manon and in first Rahul!
25. Now it's time for the Vegan Showstopper. Apparently, I've lost track because next week is the quarter-final!
26. Rahul vs. Manon for Star Baker. I think Kim-Joy is safe, but everyone else (i.e. John, Ruby, Briony) = in danger.
27. This last challenge is a huge cake. I wasn't listening properly to Sandi so I don't know about the rules other than it has to be vegan and huge.
28. Paul & Prue's expectations are way too high if you ask me. Although I do hope everyone smashes it because vegan baking is great.
29. Kim-Joy is making a fox-themed cake with lemon and LAVENDER (oooooh) flavours. Yes please, yum.
    
30. John's making one inspired by Only Fools and Horses. All the dads across the country giving approval rn.
31. Briony sticking to gender stereotypes here assumin' roses are girly. Alright then.
32. Manon's wacking out her coloured spices for her 3-tiered spice apple cake. Meanwhile, Rahul is sighing a lot and doubting himself as usual.
33. Awwwww Rahul is making a coconut and caramel cake in honour of his grandma. Is he being sponsored to win the Resident Cutie award or wot?
34. Chocolate & lemon sponges with raspberry and chocolate for Ruby. It sounds a bit wacky but I like it.
35. We've hit the halfway mark and Rahul is blending things all over himself.
36. Manon's making beautiful pink roses that match her hair. N'awww.
37. I'm getting very nervous at these wonky cake constructions.
38. Ruby, nooooooo! That does NOT look stable. And that's the bottom layer... She's getting assistance from fellow bakers.
    
39. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
40. Blummin' heck.
41. OH NO. THE - NO - Ruby's cake has just collapsed after everyone's left the tent. Oh, man.
42. Well, with Ruby crying herself to sleep trying to nap off stress somewhere (probably), it's now judgement time. Briony's up first.
43. "A very nice cake!" Yeaaaaaah she's not going home this week.
44. John's animal print cake is up now. "Looks hideous" but tastes good. Not bad then.
45. Now Manon's looks gorgeous. On the outside. The inside looks quite dense and stodgy. "Looks great, tastes awful". The opposite of John's then, yikes.
46. KIM-JOY. Her cake is absolutely beautiful. Pastel colours, gorgeous fox biscuits, wow. I'm excited about the lavender sponge. Hooraaaaay they like it!
47. Rahul's drizzle has let him down - a soggy... cake.
48. Now for Ruby's... collapsed... thing. Luckily both the chocolate and lemon bits taste good.
49. Surely she won't be leaving if her cake(s) tasted good?!
50. Well, now we're finding out that Prue rates Ruby's cake above Manon's.
51. Paul now says Rahul vs. Kim-Joy for Star Baker...
52. KIM-JOY! I think this is her first SB! Aawwwww.
53. Now for the elimination. Going home is... John. Well, I'm giving him serious major credit because I never thought he'd get this far, and he's done amazingly. Au revoir John et tes chemises INCROYABLES.

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