47 Thoughts I Had Watching the Great British Bake Off - Series 9 Episode 6

A double whammy of a knockout last episode, where we lost Terry & my future self/indirect spirit guide Karen. This week it's pastries, which can only surely mean that we're in store for at least one soggy bottom. we miss you Mary B

1. While Vegan Week (Episode 7) starts live in real-time as I'm writing this, I am as ever behind on telly. Yet again I am determined to avoid spoilers (which will be easy to do as I plan to watch Episode 7 immediately after this one muahahaha edit: I failed at this).
2. Challenge uno: samosas! Yum! 6 sweet and 6 savoury with a tasty dip. Easy.
3. I prefer spring rolls myself. A sweet samosa though, that sounds good.
4. John is making chicken & pesto samosas, and orange and vanilla creme patissière samosas. Ugggggh suddenly I want this ramen I'm eating to taste like pesto and orange simultaneously actually maybe not
5. Paul giving Rahul's momma the biggest respect. Respecc.
6. Briony is going for beetroot/port & peanut butter/cheesecake. That last one though. Mmm.
7. Dan's hazelnut & banana bad bois sound so good.
8. Kim-Joy is getting spicy and them apple chai sweets... GIMME. Everything everyone's making sounds epic and I can't handle it.
   
9. I think I could handle it better if I could just sample some. By some, I mean all of them. Every single one.
10. Don't lose ya cool, John.
11. Over in Dan's corner, he's got sloppy pastry. Yikes.
12. Kim-Joy is WURKIN' the eyeshadow again. Inspiring me to get funky with my lids tomorrow.
13. Time's up! Briony definitely absolutely does not have a samosa in her mouth.
14. Judgement time - Ruby's savoury samosas are spicy as hecc and crispy. Sweet ones are beautiful too. HH-worthy even!
15. Here's John. Beautiful flavours. And beautiful appearances over with Briony. Paul is a big big fan.
16. Kim-Joy has made Pythagoras Theorum samosas. I likey. Judges half likey.
17. Dan... has made bread. Whoops. Yeeeeeeeah, not great for him.
18. Rahul... I think he's done it again. YES. P&P are mega fans. Raita? YES. PAUL AND PRUE HANDSHAKES HOLY CRUD.
    
19. Manon now. Bit dry, she's understandably disappointed.
20. Challenge dos - the technical. "A lot to do" apparently. And the challenge iiiiiiis: 6 "puits d'amour". Wells of love. C'mon innuendos C'MON. IT'S RIGHT THERE.
21. No advantage here - Manon has not made these romantic wells before.
22. Erm, okay, John. He just drank the egg whites and set off a salmonella alert across Britain.
23. Ruby accidentally blobbed 6 circles of creme pat onto each 'puit' instead of one. Some nifty creme pat smoothing needed here.
24. All of these look beautiful. Even Dan's. I think I just like creme pat a lot.
25. Over they go, the wells of love, to the long ass table. Paul and Prue look down in a judging manner because they are judges and that's what judges do.
26. "Crispy base but a little bit dark" - Paul on Manon's wells, 2k18.
27. "Fantastic" for John, flat but flavourful for Kim-Joy, "bland" and "burnt" for Ruby - ouch!
28. A firm but tasty creme pat by Rahul. Dan, meanwhile, hasn't actually made wells. They're more like fried eggs of love.
29. Rahul in third, John in second and WOAH. Briony in first!!! What is happening?! She is sm-ash-ing it this episode. What the hecc.
30. Rahul (obviously) and Briony are being recognised by the judges as the top baking beans in this episode. Lotsa people are in the dangerous red zone, but we still have the showstopper to go...
31. Challenge tres: a banquet pie, suitable for a Tudor banquet & shaped with the bakers' own hands.
32. The bakers are making a variety of pastries here, all hoping to get the niftiest textures.
33. I always forget how Bake Off involves savoury ingredients half the time.
34. Briony's using venison as well as savoury rye pancakes to save her from getting a soggy bottom.
35. Chicken curry & nigella seeds for Ruby. Rahul's being a sneaky starlet over in his corner with a curry plan too.
    
36. Awwwwh. Briony is making a croquet pitch/Alice in Wonderland pie. Meanwhile, John and Noel are stuffing their faces with flying saucers and having sherbert-induced nostalgia.
    
37. Dramatic. Banquet. Baking. Music. Dundundundun, dundundundundundun, dundundundun, dundundundundundun.
38. Kim-Joy's got polka dots, and Rahul has created a butterfly. Now it's time for the judging.
39. Whilst Kim-Joy's looks great, some of the dough was a bit thick. Rats.
40. Ruby smashed it with her curry banquet pie. As for Rahul's... it looks incredible but is rather wet inside. I spoke too soon! The judges really liked it.
41. John's dragon is delicious but not looking great. Also a bit on the wet side.
42. Now for Dan's 'Salmon Coulibiac'. This looks... like an actual fish. Prue is put off by this, but I'm hoping it tastes fantastic. Aghhhhhhhhhhhh. It's raw. Noooooo.
43. P&P are very impressed with Briony's bake. Needed more sweet potato and less meatiness, but overall the judges were impressed. Surely Briony's going to cry if she wins Star Baker.
    
44. Some debating of the bakers' standings, and here comes the results...
45. Sandi's announcing that the Star Baker of this week is Briony! Yes!
46. Departing us is... Dan. Gosh, I did not expect this until maybe last week. I genuinely thought he was the dark horse of this series but now I'm realising that it may in fact be Briony. Hmmm.
47. Actually, that's enough baking madness for one evening. *fast forwards to 7 days time & hasn't watched tonight's* I WILL watch it & blog about it tomorrow I promise xo

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