41 Thoughts I Had Watching the Great British Bake Off - Series 11 Episode 2

AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. It's time for Episode 2.  As I worked late on Tuesday night this week, I missed the live version of Bake Off, and it's taken until today (Sunday) to get round to watching it. Sounds simple enough, but actually this has taken some supremely careful navigating of Twitter to avoid spoilers. My technique (pure luck) was successful, as I can confirm I don't know who won or who lost this week. So let's get on with it!

As a reminder, it's Biscuit Week, and Loriea left last week.

1. The first challenge the bakers have this week is to make 36 chocolate florentines. I think they're those crispy caramel almond biscuits with one half dipped in chocolate, but I can't quite remember.
2. Even though I don't like dark chocolate, I think Paul has a point about it being the best chocolate to use as florentines are so sweet.
3. Ooooh ma gawd. Peter is making sticky toffee florentines, while Sura is using pistachio, rose water, almonds, and pistachios. Both, please.
4. I've just eaten a ginger biscuit so Linda has me sold on her use of crystallised ginger.
5. So many people are using mango – Dave, Hermine, Mak – the list goes on. It's a good job it's delicious.
6. Hold. The. Phone. Dave hasn't been my favourite up until right this minute, purely because he owns a Shiba.
   
   
   
   
   
7. Laura is making salted caramel florentines with milk chocolate. I approve.
8. Lottie is dedicating her quarantine florentines to her grandparents who she hasn't seen for months. #InTheSameBoat.
9. I wonder what the best technique is because some people are using silicon bun trays, some people have got metal bun trays and some people are using totally flat trays.
10. Hermine is using ruby chocolate. I've only had ruby chocolate once and it was on a KitKat. It was a bit odd.
11. Rowan's florentines look a bit like mini pizzas.
12. Peter is dipping his florentines in caramelised white chocolate (yes please).
13. All of a sudden, Hermine seems to be on the edge of a breakdown. She's violently stabbing her florentines to get them out of their tins and wailing about chocolate. CAN SOMEONE CHECK ON HERMINE PLEASE (without getting accidentally injured)?
14. It's time to get judge-y. We've got good "snap"s from Expresso Dave, one of the Marks, and Linda. A couple of dodgy under-baked goods in the mix.
15. Rowan's waistcoat-shaped florentines are a bit messy. He has great ideas but he's definitely not good enough yet to pull them off.
16. I can't work out if Prue's losing her voice. I think it's sour-cherry induced – every time she has a sour cherry she can't get her words out.
    
    
    
    
    
17. HANDSHAKE ALERT. A Hollywood Handshake for Lottie, who quite frankly has grossed me out by saying she might never wash her hand again. We are in a PANDEMIC, Lottie. No silver fox baker from the North West, or anyone for that matter, should be believed to be virus-free. How weird would a handshake have felt though? I'm honestly quite glad to be free from that gesture.
18. Time for the technical: 12 coconut macaroons, 6 drizzled with chocolate and 6 piped with mango curd. Easy peasy then.
19. I don't think Dave is on the same wavelength as Matt. His macaroon joke has just fell extremely flat, and if you'll forgive me I'm just going to go and cringe myself into a hole in the ground.
20. EVERY TIME it bamboozles me that the judges think it's okay to just say "bake" for the final instruction in the Technical. I would just be listening out for everyone else's estimates. "Right, so Mark's saying seven minutes... but Jo's saying fifteen...  ELEVEN IT IS."
21. Judgment time.  Laura's are tasty but a bit too squishy. Meanwhile, Sura's lack of uniform florentines has been noticed, and she's reacting a bit like that girl in the purple t-shirt... the meme. This one (thanks, internet):
    
    
    
    
    
22. Dave aka Shibe Owner aka Expresso Man has done really well. The judges also liked Linda's florentines, although she overmixed the mixture a bit too much. There are so many things that could go wrong!
23. Peter has some very pale florentines. Paul and Prue are impressed with the presentation though, which has saved him from being in last place – that's Rowan.
24. Mak places third, Nuts Man is second, and Dave is the winner!
25. We've had another break, and now it's time for the Showstopper. A very simple (I jest) 3D biscuit table setting of a memorable dinner the bakers once had. It's like the whole 'This is actually a cake' thing, but instead of a single clove of garlic, a tin of cat food, or a tube of toothpaste, the bakers need to recreate an entire meal landscape with biscuit ingredients.
26. Lottie is making a Viking Valhalla setting featuring brandy snap. Yum.
27. Dave's idea of a Mexican table setting looks gorgeous. I'm hoping he can pull it off, which he likely will as he seems to be on a roll this week.
28. Sura is a clever bean – making extra in case anything breaks. She might have just saved her own butt.
    
    
    
    
    
29. I should really plan when I'm going to eat when I watch this show – ideally, I'd have something cooking in the oven while I watch, but lately I haven't got the energy to make anything that takes an hour and a half!
30. I appreciate and relate to Lottie's quiet singing of "I just want to curl up in a ball and die quietly". I think my housemates might hear me singing something similar to this as I wander around the house on a weekday. Lottie, if you're reading this, let's collab.
31. Oh nooooo! Rowan's jug has cracked. It is not Rowan's week.
32. This challenge/episode is almost over, and I honestly couldn't say who has done the best. I haven't seen what Dave's made yet though, so he could have secretly smashed it.
33. It's judgment time, agaaaaaain. Rowan is up with his... erm... 'functioning' lighthouse with a flashing light. I'm not convinced. Neither are Paul and Prue, but they're okay with the flavour. A dodgy-looking but tasty lighthouse.
34. Marc with a 'C' has a squishy biscuit creation, but the judges don't mind too much.
35. Hermine is ROCKIN' at presentation, but the taste of her bake hasn't wowed anyone.
36. Nuts Man has too much coffee in his showstopper. To avoid calling him Nuts Man for eternity, I've just done my research and found out that Nuts Man is in fact Mark with a 'K'.
    
    
    
    
    
37. Okay, Dave's Mexican biscuit table setting THING looks so good. Just the colours he's used alone are beautiful. But it tastes great too, apparently. I wouldn't be surprised if he got Star Baker this week.
38. Lottie's Viking bake did alright – I think she's got through to next week. 
39. Mak and Rowan are contenders for the boot this week. I'm not sure who has shown more promise. Perhaps Rowan because of his bonkers ideas? I like Mak a lot more though.
40. Dave did it! Star Baker! Bravo!
41. Awwwwwhhhh, Mak's going. Poop.