You may have noticed that I missed out last week's blog because I was busy with uni/work/life/social stuff and I apologise.
This week, though, is the semi-final so I'm getting back in the game. Gimme some sugar (literally).
- "It's the last one that someone goes home... 'cos the next time someone'll be the winner." Good to see Candice knows how semi-finals work.
- Oh YES PLEASE surely they put Selasi through automatically - he says he'll be baking in a dress in the final if he reaches it. A real slinky number, please.
- That black and white intro with French Mel & Sue is a perfect example of why Bake Off should 100% not be losing these absolute presenting gems. *sobs*
- Sue's blazer says 'HAPPY' on the back. I love her.
- *French accent* 24 savoury palmiers, s'il vous plait. 12 each of 2 different flavours. I've just googled palmiers and am now about 3x as hungry as I was before.
- The way Mary says "layers" is magnificent.
- Lots of kneading going on and it looks like we're going to hear about Candice's bake first. Flippin' nora listen to this: red onion, Cambozola (apparently a brie-style blue cheese, so one I might actually like) and walnuts for one type and mushroom, streaky bacon and parmesan for the other.
- Pesto alert, pesto alert! Caused by Jane because she's using pesto. What a lass.
- Oh holy flippin' palmier. She's teaming it with sundried tomato but wait for it - the other batch is made of 1) goats cheese 2) olive
& 3) parma ham
- Praying for Andrew's crumbly palmiers right now. To be more specific: his crumbly cheese and herb palmiers in the shape of elephant ears and treble clefs respectively. Phew.
- Hold the phone. Selasi's second batch sound incredible: salmon, spinach and mushroom. Dayyymmmm.
- While Selasi's playing around, being all chill as usual, Andrew is frantically making a second attempt at his pastry. In fact, apparently he'd been crying earlier, oh nooooooooo (apparently Mel & Sue ruin the bits of the show with swearing and the like when contestants cry so the footage can't be shown, how fab).
- Oh wait, Selasi appears to have lost his chill. That is when you know it's high stakes.
- 2 minutes left of Challenge Uno. What can you even get done in two minutes apart from brush your teeth sufficiently?
- Results time: Jane's are quite underdone due to the oily sundried tomatoes she's used, says Bezza. Candice's bacon is a hit but not enough like a palmier (and too much like standard pastry) for Paul. Also, a hellova lot of filling by the sounds of it.
- Meanwhile Selasi's salmon masterpiece...is not a masterpiece. Raw pastry and not a great bake despite the good flavours. Finally, Andrew - I didn't get what flavours he used at any point for some reason but it seems like he did the best in this challenge! M & P approved.
- Now for the next, that means the Technical. "1 High End Savarin". Thanks, Mel. Basically it's a giant cake in the shape of a dome, soaked in orange liquor and with a bit of cream too. Oh, and a fancy chocolate sign.
- Candice has got her pout on. Clearly aware her face was being filmed.
- "Make a syrup. Full stop." Oh, Selasi, I'm sorry. Actually I'm not because this is going to be really entertaining.
- Jane. Is. Stressing. Out. She needs some relaxation tips from Selasi... the one from all episodes previous to this one.
- Her worrying might have paid off though - her Savarin is looking goooood. Now for the "orange booze" as Mary so kindly described it.
- Semi-final Selasi is SWEATING. Sue kindly helping out there and inevitably causing a Twitter storm by mopping his face with a cloth and looking directly at us, as if to say "you wish".
- Judging time. Woah it looks weird with only four bakers left waiting to hear the feedback.
- Both Candice's and Andrew's Savarins are overdone slightly, with Andrew's booze having not soaked through. Not enough booze coverage in Selasi's either. Jane's presentation is being appreciated by Paul, but again not enough booze in the middle for Mary. Typical.
- Results of this round: 4th place is Selasi, 3rd place is Candice, 2nd place is Andrew and 1st place is Jane! The worrying did work! And she's pretty much speechless.
- It's now time for the Semi-Final Showstopper. Oh boy, is it a good one - 36 Fondant Fancies aka. the best thing you can get from Betty's (see below).
- Paul has a lot of qualities he wants in his Fancies. Mary's topping that though by saying the bakers will need to produce "sheer perfection" to win them over. No pressure.
- Pistachio flavouring for Jane - fantastique.
- Andrew wins cutest bake already - little bow ties and sheet music on top of his Fondant Fancies, half of which will have Irish coffee liquor in them. There's Mary approval then.
- Candice, meanwhile, is using chocolate and praline for one batch and the other will be cherry bakewell with lilac icing. Sounds pretty as heck. She's pushing herself but I reckon it'll be worth it.
- Ma man Selasi is using lime and ginger flavouring for half of his Fancies. Not my thing but good for him.
- Mary's getting reflective. I wonder if we'll get any more classic gifs of her face out of this or next week's episode. Maybe if someone's Fondant Fancies have an explosive amount of alcohol in or something.
see this for reference - Fondant pourin' is occurrin'. Jane has made a beautiful pale green fondant that I loooooove.
- This tense music though. Ahhh.
- And it's done. Challenge trois of the semi-final is done. Candice up for judging first.
- She's presented her bake with a small pink piano. Both of her batches have gone down really well with M & P, Mary is loving it.
- Selasi now - Paul loves his sponge. The first bake too sweet but the second (the lime and ginger one) a hit.
- I am so blahdy hungry.
- Jane's raspberry FFs were tasty tasty and so were her lemon ones - the judges are being picky about the sides though which weren't finished off well.
- Finally, Andrew. He did pretty good too.
- Now for the big discussion at the end with M, P, M and S. Andrew is up for star baker, says Paul. Will he win it??? Or how about Candice...
- And it's... Andrew! He is blown away, it genuinely looked like he was sitting next to a giant fan.
- Leaving at the end of the semi-final is.. Selasi. Woahh. So in the final we have ANDREW, CANDICE and JANE. Duh duh duh.
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