Okay so don't be reading all up in this blog post if you haven't yet seen episode 8 of series 5. This aired yesterday. You have my warning. Do not read further if this is so. Or forever hold your Wilding-spirited self to blame.
Well hello there young watcher of the best show on Earth. This episode was a bit of a mad one wasn't it. I'm pretty sure I had breathing problems by the last few scenes. Let's go over the most awesome parts first before we all recall the nightmare that was the invasion of the creepy dead monsters:
1. Cersei being treated like doo-doo.
This was brilliant to watch. Not that I ever like watching people get treated horribly but she deserved it somewhat as she is a major moron of a woman. Satisfaction came mostly from the fact that she was being bossed around for once by the stone-cold prison guard/nun (?) lady who demanded a confession and in not receiving one from Cersei poured her water ration onto the floor. Just confess Cersei, okay - you did stuff with your brother. Admit to being weird, embrace it. Oh and the fact that you've manipulated everyone and that you're a 'queen' *ahem* of lies.
2. Tyrion showing Daenerys who's boss.
With D getting a bit big-headed and all, Tyrion is a great antidote. Not only is he sucking up to her ego by saying how marvellous she is so she can't argue that he's against her, but he's now her advisor so he can (potentially) work with her to get what he wants. Whatever that is. Not quite sure what "break the wheel" meant, D, but don't go killing loads of innocent people. Maybe go calm down your dragons. Also, wine.
3. Arya being a successful...whatever she was doing right.
She's in the face chamber thing right? And the guy was like "you're doing great" and she was like "thanks face master, I sell clams".
4. Theon (I refuse to call him his other, false, name) told Sansa the truth.
Incredibly nice to know that she doesn't hate him now. Hopefully they can work together to sort all this grim Ramsay stuff out. Or not. Ramsay is a nasty piece of work. Creepily attractive, but nasty. However it turns out, it probably won't go smoothly.
Okay so now we're onto the second half of the great big evil pavlova that was episode 8.
So while the white walkers with their icy Paul-Hollywood eyes approached Hardhome, a settlement beyond The Wall, Jon Snow and all his peeps stood there dramatically until they realised the big mess they were about to be in and pegged it behind the giant wooden gates. A lot of their people got smushed into human purée because they didn't make it in time and then tension built up until the creepy WWs started smashing through the gate (as you do) and eventually they broke through. Fighting and sword stuff happened and it was really exciting and I ate lots of Doritos and salsa in this bit because I was so enthralled. Then Jon Snow got himself into a bit of a wee pickle when the big evil walker dude with especially sea-like eyes went after him exclusively with an enormous sword-device. Jon might have given me several heart palpitations as he kept dodging the sword swipes and looking injured and like he was going to die and I actually whispered the words "oh god this is it" and then he finds a magic sword and it doesn't get destroyed by the walker's. This big walker then re-evaluates his whole strategy before being slayed to smithereens by Jon Snow the mighty crow of the snow. Oh but then as they sail away on the boats (which they probably should have all done in the first place) Snow realises his absolute dumb-butt mistake when he sees all of his people and all the people he called in to help fight rise from the dead as white walkers themselves. His decision basically quadrupled (calculations not exact) the size of the WW army. Good one Jon.
Finally his boat sails off (terrifyingly slowly, so slow that all the walkers could have made a boat in that time and sailed out furiously and topped them all off) with a few main people in and himself. And we're all left thinking: oh. flipping. no.
Images: via via via via via via via via
Well hello there young watcher of the best show on Earth. This episode was a bit of a mad one wasn't it. I'm pretty sure I had breathing problems by the last few scenes. Let's go over the most awesome parts first before we all recall the nightmare that was the invasion of the creepy dead monsters:
1. Cersei being treated like doo-doo.
This was brilliant to watch. Not that I ever like watching people get treated horribly but she deserved it somewhat as she is a major moron of a woman. Satisfaction came mostly from the fact that she was being bossed around for once by the stone-cold prison guard/nun (?) lady who demanded a confession and in not receiving one from Cersei poured her water ration onto the floor. Just confess Cersei, okay - you did stuff with your brother. Admit to being weird, embrace it. Oh and the fact that you've manipulated everyone and that you're a 'queen' *ahem* of lies.
2. Tyrion showing Daenerys who's boss.
With D getting a bit big-headed and all, Tyrion is a great antidote. Not only is he sucking up to her ego by saying how marvellous she is so she can't argue that he's against her, but he's now her advisor so he can (potentially) work with her to get what he wants. Whatever that is. Not quite sure what "break the wheel" meant, D, but don't go killing loads of innocent people. Maybe go calm down your dragons. Also, wine.
3. Arya being a successful...whatever she was doing right.
She's in the face chamber thing right? And the guy was like "you're doing great" and she was like "thanks face master, I sell clams".
4. Theon (I refuse to call him his other, false, name) told Sansa the truth.
Incredibly nice to know that she doesn't hate him now. Hopefully they can work together to sort all this grim Ramsay stuff out. Or not. Ramsay is a nasty piece of work. Creepily attractive, but nasty. However it turns out, it probably won't go smoothly.
Okay so now we're onto the second half of the great big evil pavlova that was episode 8.
So while the white walkers with their icy Paul-Hollywood eyes approached Hardhome, a settlement beyond The Wall, Jon Snow and all his peeps stood there dramatically until they realised the big mess they were about to be in and pegged it behind the giant wooden gates. A lot of their people got smushed into human purée because they didn't make it in time and then tension built up until the creepy WWs started smashing through the gate (as you do) and eventually they broke through. Fighting and sword stuff happened and it was really exciting and I ate lots of Doritos and salsa in this bit because I was so enthralled. Then Jon Snow got himself into a bit of a wee pickle when the big evil walker dude with especially sea-like eyes went after him exclusively with an enormous sword-device. Jon might have given me several heart palpitations as he kept dodging the sword swipes and looking injured and like he was going to die and I actually whispered the words "oh god this is it" and then he finds a magic sword and it doesn't get destroyed by the walker's. This big walker then re-evaluates his whole strategy before being slayed to smithereens by Jon Snow the mighty crow of the snow. Oh but then as they sail away on the boats (which they probably should have all done in the first place) Snow realises his absolute dumb-butt mistake when he sees all of his people and all the people he called in to help fight rise from the dead as white walkers themselves. His decision basically quadrupled (calculations not exact) the size of the WW army. Good one Jon.
Finally his boat sails off (terrifyingly slowly, so slow that all the walkers could have made a boat in that time and sailed out furiously and topped them all off) with a few main people in and himself. And we're all left thinking: oh. flipping. no.
Images: via via via via via via via via
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