So it's Bread Week this week. Let's see what shenanigans the GBBO crew get up to.
- I have high hopes for Rahul this week. Hopefully, he'll pull it out the bag once again!
- Bread Week seems like it's gonna be an eventful one.
- Duhnuhnuhnuhnuh, duhnuhnuhnuhnuh, duhnuhnuhnuhnuh, duhnuhnuhnuhnuh, BONG.
- Sandi is going sport-chic this week while Noel is dressed... seemingly as a bee.
- Quite a few of the bakers are a bit nervous about Paul and it being Bread Week, seeing as he's such a bread expert (or so they say).
- Yep, Noel looks like a human character in the Bee Movie.
- Just googled the Bee Movie and there are actually humans in it - oops. This is where I announce that I've never seen the Bee Movie (sue me).
- Meanwhile, Karen is sporting a red beret and looking rather French. More so than Manon, dare I say.
- The first challenge is 12 sweet buns which must be baked with their sides touching. So it's kind of like a big free-for-all, you rip a bun out of a collection of buns ummm... yeah.
- Three hours on the clock and GO.
- Damn, Karen is looking so cool today. Terry is also looking fantastic with a very well groomed 'stache and a pink shirt.
- So they're obviously making buns... getting the dough to rise... you can tell I know a lot about making buns from how I'm writing.
- I've just realised what Karen's done - she's dressed up in a French outfit deliberately. This is how much faith I have in Karen's wackiness. Is it even possible to love her more than I already do?!
- Kim-Joy! She's going to be using a special technique... tanzon?! I have no idea. Anyway, it's supposed to make the buns all fluffy and wonderful inside. Both Prue & Paul don't know what the technique is so it must be funky.
- Ohhh she's gone to the Travelling Man shop in York. AW HER BOYFRIEND WORKS THERE. Awwwwwwwwwwww.
- Pistachio, cardamom & lemon choux buns. Those sound really really good. I've never really had an urge to have a choux bun but I would definitely jump at the chance to have one of those.
- Meanwhile, Manon is making Chelsea buns - they're apricot, cranberry and something else. They sound nice... and fruity.
- Dan is making a spiced orange Chelsea bun. These sound very autumnal, with brandy-soaked sultanas. I'm not a massive fan of sultanas but if they're soaked in brandy then I would probably give them a try (just maybe).
I could only find human Brandy gifs, soz - Everyone kneads to take their time. Hahahahaha.
- What is it with Bake Off bakers & living with people who wear the same clothes?
- Antony is making a breakfast-themed Chelsea bun selection. I see some golden syrup going on, hello.
- Ooooh. Terry's using some Amalfi lemons. Exotic.
- It's time for the dough to prove itself.
- Vanilla, cinnamon, carrots, dates...?! Ruby seems to have everything in her Chelsea buns. Still some bitterness from her about the "forest floor" comment. And rightly so.
- Raisins, pistachio & balsamic strawberries for Briony. Yes pistachio come throooooough.
- Oh my god, Karen is literally wearing all the colours ever EXISTING in her little behind-the-scenes clip. She is basically me but older.
- Yes that's right, Sandi. Karen does win best dressed. Amen.
- I do believe Jon is repping the same Hawaiian shirt as last week. Consistency, I like it. He's making Cardiff City salted caramel & pecan Chelsea buns with marshmallow...
- So before I watched this episode, I saw an article about Rahul basically being the resident cutie of this season and I CALLED THIS. I knew this would happen. Thank you, thank you very much
- HE BAKES TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS. OHHH. This week his friends are receiving mango & cranberry buns. They look truly beautiful. And now I'm going to have to find a Chelsea bun at the weekend. This is what Bake Off does to me.
- Under-proving and over-proving are both disasters. There seems to be an impossibly small window for perfection.
- Five minutes left! Karen's buns look really good. Aaaand I'm now realising the innuendo potential of this challenge.
- I believe there was a deliberate effort this season to make less innuendos to, y'know, not 'offend' people. I'm kinda missing them to be honest.
- Antony has taken to the floor. Literally. He's sat there staring into the distance, not even at his oven.
- Karen's got the gold spray out. Queeeeeeeeeeeen.
- It's BunsOut time. Kim-Joy's has weak flavours, Manon has made tasty yet overdone buns... oh and Dan has another handshake! Wow, he is kicking some serious b u t t.
- An orange Chelsea bun just sounds really heccin' good.
- Antony's bake is 'dry', Terry has indeed pulled it out of the bag and Karen is championing her repeated decision to use Bakewell flavours.
- Jon's are overbaked and Rahul's are hella messy (but delicious - mango chutney!).
- Super happy for Terry right now.
- Time for a very short technical: eight non-yeasted garlic naan breads. This sounds easy but also incredibly hard at the same time. Speaking of time, they have one hour.
- Ruby is aggro-stressed, if that's a word. I've made it a word now. "They are what they are," she says. Well yes, they are.
- Somehow time is up and everyone's naans look great. I think.
- Ruby has skimped out on the garlic and Jon has used too much. Argh!
- Manon's are more like pittas, Dan's are HUGE and Rahul didn't cook them enough. Neither did Briony. And Kim-Joy's are inconsistent - double argh!
- Kim-Joy came last. Zooming up to the top three, we have Manon in 3rd, Jon in 2nd and TERRY in 1st!
- Time for the judges' discussion sesh. Up there at the tippity top are Dan and Rahul, the resident cutie/serial apologiser. Embodying the true British way of life.
- Now it's the showstopper: a tiered korovai. What on earth is that?!
- Oh, thanks Sandi. It's an Eastern European sweetbread. At least three tiers are required but it can be any shape whatsoever and it has to be based on a celebratory event.
- This is a five-hour challenge - that's ridiculous.
- Ruby's korovai is for her parents. It has apricots & almonds and looks like it's going to be amazing. I like how Prue said "I think it's possible" and Ruby said "thank you".
- Oh my god. Kim-Joy is making a cat wedding korovai. A KITTOVAI. Bloody'ell. And they have names: Roffles and Raffles...
- Dan's making gay bread. Sounds like a hit recipe.
- Jon is going full Welsh on this one.
- Manon has a family tattoo... her whole family have the same one?! I think that's a bit too cool for... the Earth.
- Still mega proud of Terry.
- Okay, saying that Terry now seems to be having a mild disaster. I think I've jinxed his baking through time travel somehow.
- "You look like a breadstick" - Noel Fielding, 2018.
- Time's up! Kim-Joy's cake wedding is so cuuuuute. Paul is looking at it like "what the frick". A bit underproved but good says Paul, I'd see that as a good result.
- Rahul has pulled it out of the decoration bag once more. Wow.
- Right, I have to say this. I now don't like it when Paul says "that's really, really good" because I just think it's going to be another handshake. THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE IS LOST, PAUL.
- Dan's bake = b-e-a-utiful. A bit plain tasting, though.
- WOAH. Hold the baking horses. Paul said he could eat Ruby's WHOLE korovai *ahem*
- So Terry's is really underbaked. For the second prove he waited 15 minutes and it should've been... wait for it.. two hours.
- A real mixed
breadbag indeed. - Aw, Rahul! He got Star Baker! Awwww. Hopefully he'll start believing in himself now.
- Leaving today is... Antony says "just say it"... oh it is him! Ohh. Paul did just tell him that he loves him, how wholesome.
- Breaking news for the end of the episode though: Rahul says "now I think I can bake". HERE WE GO.
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