68 Thoughts I Had Watching GBBO - Series 9 Episode 3

So it's Bread Week this week. Let's see what shenanigans the GBBO crew get up to.


  1. I have high hopes for Rahul this week. Hopefully, he'll pull it out the bag once again!
  2. Bread Week seems like it's gonna be an eventful one.
  3. Duhnuhnuhnuhnuh, duhnuhnuhnuhnuh, duhnuhnuhnuhnuh, duhnuhnuhnuhnuh, BONG.
  4. Sandi is going sport-chic this week while Noel is dressed... seemingly as a bee.
  5. Quite a few of the bakers are a bit nervous about Paul and it being Bread Week, seeing as he's such a bread expert (or so they say).
  6. Yep, Noel looks like a human character in the Bee Movie.
  7. Just googled the Bee Movie and there are actually humans in it - oops. This is where I announce that I've never seen the Bee Movie (sue me).
  8. Meanwhile, Karen is sporting a red beret and looking rather French. More so than Manon, dare I say.
  9. The first challenge is 12 sweet buns which must be baked with their sides touching. So it's kind of like a big free-for-all, you rip a bun out of a collection of buns ummm... yeah.
  10. Three hours on the clock and GO.
  11. Damn, Karen is looking so cool today. Terry is also looking fantastic with a very well groomed 'stache and a pink shirt.
  12. So they're obviously making buns... getting the dough to rise... you can tell I know a lot about making buns from how I'm writing.
  13. I've just realised what Karen's done - she's dressed up in a French outfit deliberately. This is how much faith I have in Karen's wackiness. Is it even possible to love her more than I already do?!
  14. Kim-Joy! She's going to be using a special technique... tanzon?! I have no idea. Anyway, it's supposed to make the buns all fluffy and wonderful inside. Both Prue & Paul don't know what the technique is so it must be funky.
  15. Ohhh she's gone to the Travelling Man shop in York. AW HER BOYFRIEND WORKS THERE. Awwwwwwwwwwww.
  16. Pistachio, cardamom & lemon choux buns. Those sound really really good. I've never really had an urge to have a choux bun but I would definitely jump at the chance to have one of those.
  17. Meanwhile, Manon is making Chelsea buns - they're apricot, cranberry and something else. They sound nice... and fruity.
  18. Dan is making a spiced orange Chelsea bun. These sound very autumnal, with brandy-soaked sultanas. I'm not a massive fan of sultanas but if they're soaked in brandy then I would probably give them a try (just maybe).
    I could only find human Brandy gifs, soz
  19. Everyone kneads to take their time. Hahahahaha.
  20. What is it with Bake Off bakers & living with people who wear the same clothes?
  21. Antony is making a breakfast-themed Chelsea bun selection. I see some golden syrup going on, hello.
  22. Ooooh. Terry's using some Amalfi lemons. Exotic.
  23. It's time for the dough to prove itself.
  24. Vanilla, cinnamon, carrots, dates...?! Ruby seems to have everything in her Chelsea buns. Still some bitterness from her about the "forest floor" comment. And rightly so.
  25. Raisins, pistachio & balsamic strawberries for Briony. Yes pistachio come throooooough.
  26. Oh my god, Karen is literally wearing all the colours ever EXISTING in her little behind-the-scenes clip. She is basically me but older.
  27. Yes that's right, Sandi. Karen does win best dressed. Amen.
  28. I do believe Jon is repping the same Hawaiian shirt as last week. Consistency, I like it. He's making Cardiff City salted caramel & pecan Chelsea buns with marshmallow...
  29. So before I watched this episode, I saw an article about Rahul basically being the resident cutie of this season and I CALLED THIS. I knew this would happen. Thank you, thank you very much
  30. HE BAKES TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS. OHHH. This week his friends are receiving mango & cranberry buns. They look truly beautiful. And now I'm going to have to find a Chelsea bun at the weekend. This is what Bake Off does to me.
  31. Under-proving and over-proving are both disasters. There seems to be an impossibly small window for perfection.
  32. Five minutes left! Karen's buns look really good. Aaaand I'm now realising the innuendo potential of this challenge.
  33. I believe there was a deliberate effort this season to make less innuendos to, y'know, not 'offend' people. I'm kinda missing them to be honest.
  34. Antony has taken to the floor. Literally. He's sat there staring into the distance, not even at his oven.
  35. Karen's got the gold spray out. Queeeeeeeeeeeen.
  36. It's BunsOut time. Kim-Joy's has weak flavours, Manon has made tasty yet overdone buns... oh and Dan has another handshake! Wow, he is kicking some serious b u t t.
  37. An orange Chelsea bun just sounds really heccin' good.
  38. Antony's bake is 'dry', Terry has indeed pulled it out of the bag and Karen is championing her repeated decision to use Bakewell flavours.
  39. Jon's are overbaked and Rahul's are hella messy (but delicious - mango chutney!).
  40. Super happy for Terry right now.
  41. Time for a very short technical: eight non-yeasted garlic naan breads. This sounds easy but also incredibly hard at the same time. Speaking of time, they have one hour.
  42. Ruby is aggro-stressed, if that's a word. I've made it a word now. "They are what they are," she says. Well yes, they are.
  43. Somehow time is up and everyone's naans look great. I think.
  44. Ruby has skimped out on the garlic and Jon has used too much. Argh!
  45. Manon's are more like pittas, Dan's are HUGE and Rahul didn't cook them enough. Neither did Briony. And Kim-Joy's are inconsistent - double argh!
  46. Kim-Joy came last. Zooming up to the top three, we have Manon in 3rd, Jon in 2nd and TERRY in 1st!
  47. Time for the judges' discussion sesh. Up there at the tippity top are Dan and Rahul, the resident cutie/serial apologiser. Embodying the true British way of life.
  48. Now it's the showstopper: a tiered korovai. What on earth is that?!
  49. Oh, thanks Sandi. It's an Eastern European sweetbread. At least three tiers are required but it can be any shape whatsoever and it has to be based on a celebratory event.
  50. This is a five-hour challenge - that's ridiculous.
  51. Ruby's korovai is for her parents. It has apricots & almonds and looks like it's going to be amazing. I like how Prue said "I think it's possible" and Ruby said "thank you".
  52. Oh my god. Kim-Joy is making a cat wedding korovai. A KITTOVAI. Bloody'ell. And they have names: Roffles and Raffles...
  53. Dan's making gay bread. Sounds like a hit recipe.
  54. Jon is going full Welsh on this one.
  55. Manon has a family tattoo... her whole family have the same one?! I think that's a bit too cool for... the Earth.
  56. Still mega proud of Terry.
  57. Okay, saying that Terry now seems to be having a mild disaster. I think I've jinxed his baking through time travel somehow.
  58. "You look like a breadstick" - Noel Fielding, 2018.
  59. Time's up! Kim-Joy's cake wedding is so cuuuuute. Paul is looking at it like "what the frick". A bit underproved but good says Paul, I'd see that as a good result.
  60. Rahul has pulled it out of the decoration bag once more. Wow.
  61. Right, I have to say this. I now don't like it when Paul says "that's really, really good" because I just think it's going to be another handshake. THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE IS LOST, PAUL.
  62. Dan's bake = b-e-a-utiful. A bit plain tasting, though.
  63. WOAH. Hold the baking horses. Paul said he could eat Ruby's WHOLE korovai *ahem*
  64. So Terry's is really underbaked. For the second prove he waited 15 minutes and it should've been... wait for it.. two hours.
  65. A real mixed bread bag indeed.
  66. Aw, Rahul! He got Star Baker! Awwww. Hopefully he'll start believing in himself now.
  67. Leaving today is... Antony says "just say it"... oh it is him! Ohh. Paul did just tell him that he loves him, how wholesome.
  68. Breaking news for the end of the episode though: Rahul says "now I think I can bake". HERE WE GO.
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