65 Thoughts I Had About GBBO for SU2C - Episode 4

WELL HELLO THERE. It is I, super duper late to the gravy celebrity bakey train but here nonetheless.

Suggested by a very dear pal of mine, I'm here tapping away to put some writing on your screens about a recent episode of Bake Off, the Celebrity version to be exact, which this year raised/is raising money for Stand Up To Cancer, a fantastic cause. As aforementioned, I am late to this series and I'm starting it by, naturally, watching & reviewing Episode 4. I'll make sure to watch the others in my own time, but I thought that all of you organised Bake-Off-loving beans out there will have already done this. So here I am. Let GCBOFSU2C *ahem* Episode 4 commenceth.

1. I've just remembered how much I love doing this - splurging my thoughts down in bullet points. ENOUGH ABOUT ME, let's get on with the show.
2. Noel dressed as Sandi and vice versa. I’d like to see the Paul and Mary version of this (triggered).
3. Duhduhduhduh, duhduhduhduh, bong. The theme tune of course.
4. It’s Lee Mack! I’m already preparing my funny bones. 
   
5. Melanie Sykes, Griff Rhys Jones and Joe Lycett too, oh my funny bones are dooooomed.
6. I’ve really missed Noel and Sandy’s shirts. Makes me feel much better about my own slightly weird collection. Black with pink flowers and white with... things on, I'll focus in later...
7. So we’re off to a good start: Lee didn’t know what a cooking apple was. He had to google “Blondie” - that’s the first challenge btw. Honestly. 
   
8. He has now sliced himself with an apple peeler. I did not think I could love him more.
9. Lee is making apple, pecan and maple blondies. Mmm sounds promising.
10. HE’S ONLY GONE AND BROKE THE SCISSORS IN HALF, LEE YOU ANIMAL
11. Not sure how I feel about him ripping Noel to shreds, oh wait they used to live together. Seems fair now. 
    
12. Onto Joe now. He’s using super bright orange chocolate buttons to put on his white chocolate blondies topped with macadamia. Yum. 
    
13. Orange crisis! Orange and white chocolate crisis! Griff is using both of those ingredients too, along with pecans - WHICH LEE IS USING, oh the fight is truly on
14. I’m aware of my mildly excessively use of capitals today but I’m in a very excited state so that’s just what will be happening.
15. Also happening is Melanie taking a sneak peek at Griff’s mixture and its consistency. Ooh er. 

    

    here she is doing a slightly less suspicious activity

16. It’s alright though because she’s taking a relatively unique approach to her ingredients, using dark chocolate and peanut butter. Yum.
17. Paul’s shirt reminds me of grapes. Like the type that people stamp on to make wine.
18. Egg on floor. I repeat, egg on floor. 

    

    I'll be honest, I didn't catch the cause of the egg on the floor while I was typing away before, but this GIF has shown me everything I need to know. Of course, Lee was juggling with eggs.

19. I could be wrong but I think Sandi’s shirt has the alphabet on it.
20. I’ve never seen anything as orange as Joe’s blondies mix. Practically tropical.
21. Prue is lurking around a very stressed out Lee Mack. Now blue-eyed Paul is on it.
22. Natalie has, in a few words, effed this up. She’s forgot to add her chocolate chips in.
23. Am gawping. My natural and only possible reaction to the tension of this episode. This challenge. It’s only the first blummin’ one.
24. Break time.
25. And we’re back! Joe is up for scrutiny first. There’s a raw and “sweaty bottom” but a good taste. Hmm. 
    
26. Griff now. He used apricots, I’ve just learned. He’s kicked blondie butt and the two Ps are impressed. 

    

    lookin' darn tootin' good

27. Hahahhaah oh wow. Prue's feedback to Lee apparently is a “very fair positive take on a disaster”... a good breakfast food she said. It’s all rather confusingly hilarious. 
    
28. Despite Natalie having to go back to a batch she’s ditched, Paul is loving the bake. He’s a peanut butter fiend. Handshaaaake, oh! But she’s accused him of just wanting to get a bit 'friendly'... and I do believe he was CAUGHT RED-HANDED!
29. It’s time for the Technical. Grape-like Paul standing there giving some blatantly obvious ‘hints’.
30. I like it when comedians are the bakers, they actually beam at Noel and Sandi's comedy and give them the appreciation they deserve.
31. Six fruit turnovers, made with puff pastry, apricot, raspberry and a lemon icing topping. In an hour and a half, heck no! 
    
32. Paul has just outright said that no baker will make something as good as the turnover he’s gobbling. Let’s see, Grape man, let's just see about that.
33. Bl**dy hell Lee, third injury of the episode and the medic is getting his moment of glory.
34. Mmm fruit.
35. Lee is now wearing a blue glove instead of various plasters. Probably best, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he cut through that in a few minutes or so. 
    
36. In a way I feel really good about witnessing his constant culinary injuries; I know now I'm not the only klutz in the kitchen (no, what are you talking about, of course I didn't slice my finger with a carrot peeler and faint on my first day of work experience in Year 10)
37. Lee has five turnovers. It's been a while since I studied Maths but I've mulled it over, and I would confidently say that five is not in fact equal to six.
38. Mr Lycett has forgotten about there not being timings given to you in the Technical. That or he just hasn't ever watched Bake Off and thought this would be a laugh.
39. That actually really wouldn't surprise me.
40. Joe is now creeping around the tent playing hide and seek. Lee is lying down. And Noel is in a crouching position by an oven. It's just like a game of musical statues except noone's dancing and everyone's acting slightly weird. 
    
41. Drooooooooooooopy icing. And it's judging time.
42. As the saying goes, "icing is the best form of flattery". Or at least it is for Joe because he's spelled out "I <3 Paul" beside his turnovers. What a winning strategy.
43. I take it back. The pastry was too tough for Paul and he shooed away Mr Lycett's affections.
44. Melanie's pastry, on the other hand, was rather good in comparison.
45. And Griff may have kicked butt here.
46. In 4th place... I think we can probably all predict this one. Joe's bribery pastries in 3rd place, Griff in 2nd and Mel as the Technical champion!
47. It's time... for the SHOWSTOPPER!: a cake with a revealing surprise, representing the bakers' passions.
48. I'm very excited for Lee's and he hasn't even said what it is yet. Paul Blue-Eyes is sceptical. 
    
49. Mel's making a boozy Frida Kahlo schbang (her passion is art). Joe, on the other hand, likes long baths (who doesn't) so he's making a bath cake with himself in the tub. A cakey version of him - he isn't actually climbing into his own cake (although that would be golden telly material).
50. Griff has a thing for gardening, so he's crafting a compost heap cake with chocolate, quinces and pears.
51. Over in the disaster area corner where Lee is, there's a cakey dart board forming.
52. I can't stop thinking about how I'd very much like to go back in time and be Lee and Noel's third housemate.
53. Joe's using his mum's 'bath bomb' truffles as the surprise in his cake. 
    
54. Meanwhile, Lee's making constipated elephant noises. "I'm an idiot," he says. Yes, Lee, and that's why we love you.
55. 45 MINUTES LEFT! ARRRRH.
56. Griff's voice is reminding me of Dom from The One Show.
57. So I just took a short tea break, sat back down, and hit play. It then took me about 3 minutes to recover from Lee's hand mixer incident, which involved him throwing it on the floor after not being able to work out how to turn it off.
58. And it's all over. It's time for the final judgiiiing.
59. Okay so Joe's cake is AWESOME. Marshmallows and truffles inside, a little bit overbaked but flipping cool nonetheless. 
    
60. Mel's Frida Kahlo looks super cute! Yeeeah. Bright flowers in the hair and plenty of smarties in the centre. Woweeee. Taste-wise, it's a little overbaked also but the tequila flavour has gone down well with the judges. 
    
61. Griff's compost construction is very arty and has groovy mushrooms made our of chocolate. Even though it's collapsed slightly, the judges (Prue especially) loved it. 
    
62. Lee's up now. Good and lemony, Paul's even said, "I think your wife's sponge is delicious". PAUL, pLeAsE. 
    
    
    
63. Prue's even said that Lee made the best cake in the final! Woohoooo. Yet it's down to Griff and Mel for Star Baker.
64. Who will get the groovy SU2C apron? Who will lift the (potentially non-existent) trophy? Who will - OH LEE GOT A POST-BAKE HANDSHAKE! Halle-lee-jah! (not sorry)
65. And Mel is this special episode's winner. Huzzah!

Images: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19