i need YOUR help. and wisdom. and wonderfulness.

I often find myself in a place where I'm so worried about how well I'll do things or how things will turn out that I either make a decision for the sake of it or do nothing. In which case, nothing gets resolved. (In these situations, I will most likely chew my nails to DEATH - see right.)


As many of you may know, I left uni and this is exactly what happened:

• I panicked. This was totally unnecessary but also unavoidable for a person like me. I knew I wanted to leave but also knew that it would take a lot of sorting out and to battle my un-sureness (which I stress is present at most times in my life).
• I emailed/rang/hassled the bajeezus out of my old school. At the time I was directing myself towards studying Art and so they kindly said they would accept me in January to study my A2 Art, which I didn't do, in half a school year. I was then planning to apply to study an Art Foundation at two separate colleges nearby.
• I changed my mind. Linguistics time. Not art-time. Bearing in mind I switched back and forth numerous times.
• I left uni.
• I went into my old school to collect my old AS sketchbooks. At this point, I felt rather ashamed of myself, almost in defeat. And weird, because school without friends I had there felt wrong.
• I applied to UCAS to study linguistics and have gotten offers from three good universities I'd be happy to attend.

But (a big but):

the problem with this is that when I think of a future job, I think of something in the creative industries. Designing something. I love home-design programmes and reading children's picture books e.g. Clarice Bean. 

Lauren Child - kinda my idol.

Which are two totally different areas. I just like the idea of creating some sort of layout. Would I be able to practise this at university whilst studying Linguistics? Does this sound plausible?

On the other hand, to be frank, I have been very bad at comparing myself to others in the past (meaning I did it a lot) and this often distracted me from progressing with my own work and left me unable to think of original ideas, usually because I was caught up in the ideas of somebody else.

Don't get me wrong - I loved keeping a little sketchbook but when it came to the final pieces and ideas, it was like someone had hit me in the face with a massive titanium spoon. Every. Single. Time.

I dropped Art after AS-level as it was taking over my life, and at that time I guess it wasn't in a good way - "A-Levels are stressful beings and if you can reduce the stress you can increase the happiness," I thought.

Thanks to blogging, I've become really interested in the field of writing and working for a magazine is something I've recently considered. I've even emailed a local magazine in the hope that they'll let me intern whilst I'm home. Linguistics would let me hone my writing skills and prepare me better for a job in that field, or allow me to go into research (which right now sounds like a massive nerd-world with lots of computers and books).

If anyone has any advice (any words of wisdom - I know you're all wise), or knows anyone who has managed to get an arty job after a not-so-arty degree, I'd be so grateful if you could message me using the contact form on the right.

I'm a bit confused and so ANYTHING would be gratefully received.

Please.

S'il vous plait.

Danke.

Love Rhiannon x

p.s for some reason I made this once. Oh yes - for art.